IBS- HEBREWS 11:1
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”


For me having faith and believing in faith is very different. I did not realize this until the end of our first week here in Ignite school. I have lost my faith in God… I have put God on the same level as people and I have put my trust and faith in people and that of course has lead me to great disappointment. I have gone to church my whole life and know what God is all about, and have had faith in Him and that God will only do things and put us through things that are only for the good of me and will only grow and strengthen me in ways I am not able to on my own- or even want to at the time. As I was looking at this verse and I started to look up the definitions of some of the words. And for the first time really dissect this verse word by word, line by line. So, faith, faith is having complete confidence or trust, so with that I now have the understanding that I need to give it all to Him. My complete trust needs to abide in God alone, so I won’t have to do anything on my own or put all my faith in man.  Easier said than done- for me at least. I am a face to face, need to see it to believe it kind of person, so God asking me to put my full faith and trust in Him and Him alone scares me. And the weird part is- is that I have seen the blessings and miracles of God working in something or in a person, I’ve seen Him work in me alone. So why can’t I put my full faith and trust in God again? Come to find out, but wasn’t much of a surprise- my pride. I have been hurt and have hurt so many, built up walls around my brokenness, and have worked on “making it work for me, so that’s what I’m gonna do” kind of attitude for so long that I’m almost proud of it. Is it healthy?- no. Does it work for me most of the time- no. Will it get easier or better if I just keep plugging along and building myself up off of what the world tells me, or I tell myself? - no. Honestly, I don’t know how I am going to fix this except keep praying and being real with God, because his love for us is like no other, and His mercy and grace is unconditional. But God does not play games and “will not be mocked” – Galatians 6:7. I must learn how to be real and faithful to Him. It can’t be and won’t be a one-way relationship, because that won’t work. And I know everyone knows those kinds of relationships with anyone don’t work out. Through reading and re-reading this verse God has lead and opened my eyes to Lamentations 3:22-23 “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” God is just so faithful, and I know I am learning how to trust and believe- really believe and put all my faith in Him because He truly is the One and only One who will never let me down or have hateful thoughts towards me. How undeserving I am of this, but how incredibly grateful. I am praying, not only asking God to change my heart and attitude but my view on things and asking God to open my eyes to the things not seen or acknowledged and to see His faithfulness and countless  mercies day by day. 

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