IBS- Psalms 111:10
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; a good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever.”

Laying down my pride and denying self is the only way to fear the Lord for me at least. I feel as though the way I have lived my life shows how I have tried to find and seek out wisdom but have fallen short of one thing- the only thing that gives us wisdom-God. So, in reality I found nothing and lost a lot of myself trying. I try not to live in the past but that is also very hard for me- I have a lot of regret and the feel of “lost time”. My selfishness not only gets me into trouble, but it also keeps me away from all that God has instore for me. It blocks my vision from the things He is showing me through the Bible and the doors He has opened to me and I have walked in the complete opposite direction. God is so gracious and displays so much wisdom in His understanding and compassion for us as sinners and all the fears when saved. In this verse it is says “a good understanding have all those who do His commandments…” God gives us His commandments and I personally fail at following them daily. But God is a God of forgiveness and grace and it comes so abundantly- I do not deserve any of it. We as humans make things complicated and have to add our opinion and even if we aren’t one to speak out in front of people the thoughts and ideas that pop into our head God says are no different than having killed someone. So, having the fear of the Lord means fearing sinning against Him because why would you ever want to hurt someone you love and loves you the way He does- unconditionally. When I seek after Him with an opened heart and mind I find myself crying on my knees because daily I sin, and it breaks my heart and I don’t understand sometimes how God could still love me as I am. Its sometimes hard for me to understand this concept of unconditional love because I compare everything to me experience before.

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