Rooted Sunflower

IBS- JOHN 12:26 “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.” After reading this verse I thanked God. I thanked Him for this promise. “if anyone serves Me, let him follow Me- meaning you must serve God in order to follow after Him because if you are not following after Him He who are you really serving? Checking your heart. that’s what God has been on my case about and impressing on my heart. Making that effort and acknowledging that I am not always doing tasks to glorify Him but man. And that isn’t going to fill me or grow me in any way. So, He says here if you follow me and serve me you will never be alone, “and where I am, there My servant will be also.” And to know that and to know that no matter where I am God is there is so comforting to me. I think about the bible stories where God put men on their own- by themselves and how much they not only grew in those times but they were never a

IBS- 1 CORINTHIANS 12:14-15 “For in fact the body is not one member but many. If the foot should say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body,’ is it therefore not of the body?” Just like the body of Christ we all have our “roles”, gifts and talents but if we are not doing it for God then we are like a body part that is not functioning. Many of us I know for me especially feel as though I have been in a cast of some sort- being mended and molded and getting back a lined with the way I am meant and made to work in the body of Christ. But here is what really got me. When it says “if the foot should say, because I am not a hand, I am not of the body…” comparing. We all do it. We all generally all see the good part in everyone and it gets us upset at maybe them but also ourselves because we see our wickedness and have record of the past and even current thought’s, but God renews us every day! How awesome is that! Could you imagine if you woke up one morning and got out of bed,

IBS- ROMANS 15:1 “We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples (failings) of the weak, and not to please ourselves.” In our weakness He is strong- Something I struggle with is getting help, whether it’s asking for it or someone just walking up to me and me not wanting to receive that kind of love or attention. It comes down to pride I know for me, but also the struggle in not knowing how- not knowing how to receive it or what to do next. God is working in mighty ways in all of us but here we are called to be submissive and obey the leaders, but it also comes down to seeking out or even just excepting the love and compassion Gods people here- the people God has placed in our lives to guide and direct us towards Him so we may be able to take these life lessons and apply it to our lives for the rest of our lives. When God is in the mix so is the good for us. He only wants what’s best for us and won’t give us mountains we can’t climb. But He never said we had to do it alone

IBS- GALATIONS 5:13 “For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Here it talks about having “liberty”- freedom- but not the kind of freedom we have in the United States, like to vote and what not, even though those are great privileges we do have and are blessed to have compared to other countries. Here it is talking about the freedom we do have in Christ and in Christ alone. When I think about this its overwhelming to think about all the grace and love God has had on me and still has for me. But to not take advantage of this freedom we do have in Him, but to use it to glorify Him. We are called to “serve one another.” But not out of pride or guilt or anything else our flesh wants to make us think, but to be humbled and be aware of the fact that we are honored and apart of Christ we have nothing to offer this world. In everything we must love. Love the challenges this world has for u

IBS- 1 Corinthians 9:22 “to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all thing to all men, that I might by all means save some.” Meeting people where they’re at, just like God did and continues to do for me every day when I have to wake up each morning and die to self and ask for forgiveness for the things I did wrong just in the past 24 hours. God doesn’t just say in His Word to go out and seek and save the famous and the rich or just the poor and needy- no He calls us to be His hands and feet as it says in 1 Thessalonians 5:14, “now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all.” We are as Christ followers called to do the things in which God has for us being led by the holy spirit in all things asking the Father in heaven. In this verse I like that it says, “to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak…” and that’s just it- we are called to share and more importantly SHOW

IBS- EPHESIANS 5:21 “submitting to one another in the fear of God.” Submitting- one thing I struggle with in general but “to one another” is another aspect of it that can bring a whole new level to it. God loves stretching us doesn’t He. The thing that really gets me is the fact that this is sometimes one of the hardest things to do in a situation. It may not happen all the time or it may happen most of the time. It makes me think of like-mindedness and how we (as a body of Christ) are called to be just like it talks about in Romans 15:5-7 “so this shouldn’t be that hard right? Well I don’t now about any of you, but I still have my days where I’m not the first one people want on their team or the person someone wants to be around, because of my attitude and the way I am treating people. Another thing God has impressed on my heart is the fact that if we fear Him- which for me is knowing His love and what He went through and still goes through with us every day of our lives and tak

IBS-HEBREWS 13:17 “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for you souls, as those who much give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.” Understanding that we must have an understanding that we are not our own- is how I have gotten to the point of obedience. And I am not all there either- everything is a new experience with me and to remind myself of this is important because I have been blessed in the area of experience and to have the opportunities I have had has grown me and taught me so much, but those experiences are never the same word for word- action by action ever again. So, to have an understanding and an appreciation of this makes everyday more enjoyable and exciting- for me at least. So to obey the people God has placed over you is and should be an honor- not to suck up to them but to take every word with a opened mind and heart to learn- always with discernment and bringing it all back

IBS-EPHESIAN 6:1 & COLOSSIANS 3:20 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” “Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord.” We are all called “Children of God” so that right there puts everyone in the same boat…I love how God has everything in order and backs it up with more order. This is one of the most blunt verses and one of the hardest to totally fulfill at points in life. I love how its also in the Bible 2 times and maybe more but that just shows how important it is not only to God but should also be to us. Starting off as a toddler of sinful nature even just being born into it and personally not even knowing what I did wrong looking back because I was so young but learning the respect for my parent’s way back then, gave me a way of thinking and respect to adults in general. I have always had a lot of respect for my mom but what I learned here above all things is the respect I was giving God in doing that and in d

IBS-ROMANS 6:16 “Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slave whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness.” No matter what I choose I am following someone doing something someone else has already done or attempting to push to be more like someone- whether that be God, people from the Bible, people around me, things I’ve seen before. We all have an image in our head of how things or something are supposed to be and that can be a image that the Lord has given you which is awesome or it could be something of this world that you have held on to and hoped for. I don’t think admiring someone is always a bad thing- it becomes unhealthy when that becomes your goal in life and you are no longer asking and seeking God out for guidance on your life. God has placed certain people in your life for a reason and here I believe with all my heart He has placed me to watch and not want to be this person or t

IBS- ACTS 5:29 “But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: ‘We ought to obey God rather than men.” When I think about this now and think back to how foolishly I used to listen to everyone else but God… no wonder why I was so lost and caught up in such worldly things… that’s not to say like it wasn’t my choice because that’s false- I had a choice-we all have a choice to make in every situation, but that fact that I allowed people to play such a big role in my life and willingly I took every comment every idea they had for me like they were my god- and that’s was the issue- I tried to fill that void in my heart with people not God- yes most did want what was best for me but also others just didn’t want to be alone in the sin (because who wants that). Thinking about this more makes me want to seek after Gods word and all He has to teach me. But I still find myself sometimes under the thought of someone else- meaning I seek after people’s approval and acceptance and that hin

IBS-HEBREWS 5:8 “though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.” This verse is more humbling to me than anything else. Yet Jesus knew who He was in Christ- sent by God- He still humbled Himself in obedience to where He knew He was sent to seek and save the lost but also to die on the cross for all our sins. It says in Philippians 2:8 “and being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” And here we have me- who’s initial reaction when being told what to do is to speak back or think about a better way to do it. But that isn’t what we are called to do- and even through out our life we are called to listen and obey the people God has placed in our life as overseers- to guide us in the way Christ would. I love how Jesus through it all, just wanted us to love Him and seek after Him with nothing of this world. And how complicated we have made it for no one else but ourselves.

IBS- Psalms17:15 “As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.” I will see Your face in all the good and for what I count as bad but is in your book already as only good, I will seek you in it; and I will not wonder and try and find any other to satisfy, but trust in You. This is what I see when I read this verse. To have that desire to see God in all and be in awe of Him- while reading The Word- Praying- Serving- and even just being still. He is in all of that and is guiding you in the direction of the holy if you seek after Him. And I personally have never been unsatisfied with where He has brought me when I do seek and ask Him for direction- and even in the times when I do wonder off He is just such a good good Father and never leaves me. “I will be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.” There isn’t a better feeling and peace I get when I know I am being molded and shaped and used in God’s hands and knowing He has me

IBS- PHILIPPIANS 4:11 “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content.” The first thing that came to mind is Austen saying, “a closed mouth doesn’t eat.” And at first I was like yeah no joke you have to consume it through your mouth because that’s how it works- but that’s not the point- sorry Austen a little slow over here. But it means if you don’t speak up when you are in need of help you need to speak up and say it- we are all only humans and have needs in order to survive keeping our body healthy and able TO be used as Gods hands and feet here on earth. But this verse is saying that when we do have what we need (which if you really think about it isn’t as much as we think we need in order to live) that we need to not look on our brothers or sisters cares and what they have but to have a peace and understanding that you have been given more than enough (especially here where we all are right now) and even back home. Yes, we all see

IBS- HEBREWS 13:5 “Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ This verse has been on my heart all my life- whenever I fall into sin or a situation that had me upset or at a loss on my own I would always cry out to God asking Him “why?” why I am in this situation or how did He allow this to come to this point. I would do it in the mind set of He left me because I walked away from Him. That’s just it. I walked away. He’s always been right there waiting for me to come to my knees and cry out to Him- not accuse Him of a situation or a result of my own actions. He really was there all along and a part of me knew that but didn’t feel it or see it, so I never really believed it but that’s where faith comes in. The more and more I think about what’s behind me, the more I count it all as blessings- through the situations- the looks- the hours of listening- crying out- through it all

IBS- LUKE 3:14 “Likewise the soldiers asked him, saying, ‘And what shall we do?’ so he said to them, ‘do not intimidate anyone or accuse falsely, and be content with your ways.” So many times, I come to God or a leader with this same question- “what should I do now?” like there isn’t a whole book called the Bible that literally tells me how I should walk out my faith. But still I lose some faith in believing God will lead me by the Holy Spirit in the ways He has fulfilled for me already. Being stuck in my ways is something I never thought I would say because I always thought of myself as a free-spirited person, but I did have my ways and the way I liked things to go and when that didn’t happen I had my moods and fits. But how free I am now of trying to figure it all out cause I know God already has bigger and better plans for me and all of us- how amazing is that! Jeremiah 29:11 shares exactly that too, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of

IBS- 1 TIMOTHY 6:6-8 “Now godliness with content is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and for certain we cannot carry anything out. And having food and clothing with these we shall be content.” I read just the first sentence and stopped. I had just given up one of the most overtaken- empowering part of me to the Lord and to read this, “now godliness with content is great gain…” and having just experienced the power of God and the burden of something big to me being taken away was just so glorious. Being content in where God has me with the people He has so precisely placed in this ministry and in my team, is something I wouldn’t even be able to do even if I tried. We brought nothing into this world and will be taking nothing out is a verse now that encourages me to keep pressing on and looking to the things that matter- like God. The people around me. And being more of what God has called me to be and all of us- Christ like. “For we are made in the image of Him.

IBS- HEBREWS 6:12 “That you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” Just like most- I struggle with depression or some form of regret and just have those down moments or days if you allow it to take control of you- which I have many of times. I never really gave it to God I just let my thoughts take captive of me- which now I see builds up walls and digs deeper into me. It’s a never-ending battle and it doesn’t go away even after you are saved. You could be the best of and at everything and still have those days of feeling as though the whole world is against you even the people you thought loved you the most. But God. I have had some of those days here since I’ve been in Montana and at first, I was allowing it to get to me- coming up with all these conclusions and self-pity scenarios but then I stopped myself. I stopped and asked God to just bring me to a complete peace about the subject matter and that He would take away a

IBS: REVELATION 1:9 “I, John, your brother and companion in the tribulation and kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was on the island that is called Patmos for the word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ.” I love how John makes himself vulnerable in just the first part of the sentence, knowing people knew him as one of Jesus’s disciples and the one Jesus called “whom I love” must have made some followers get upset or jealous knowing God spoke so highly of him. But John I feel takes that into account when he rights this in saying “I, John, YOUR BROTHER AND COMPANION IN THE TRIBULATION…” he is making it known that he too will be going through what we all will be- and that he is also human. Not putting himself up above any other and that shows so much love and compassion he has just like His Father in heaven. John also brings into account the kingdom and patience that is in the Lord and how because he is a follower and disciple he must also have patience and is looking t

IBS- COLLOSIOANS 1:11 “…strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and long suffering with joy;..” As followers of Christ we must have an understanding of not only how God truly loves us and by God’s grace we were saved and chosen, but how we must live according to His word. With everything here on out we must be a living example as to how Christ lived-yes, we are going to fail- but God never asked us to be perfect- He asks us to be followers of Him now knowing we are made in the image of Him we should be longing for and working towards becoming more like Him each day and every hour of our walk. One of the things we must learn to have more of and be completely filled of is patience- with patience comes some suffering but not the kind we are used to or thinking of necessarily, I think it is really important to understand Gods complete love for us- He died for us- willingly and completely out of love- I’ve never been loved like that before and it

LUKE 21:19 “ By your patience posses your souls.” The first thing God impressed on my heart was James 1:4 “Let patience have its perfect work.” Patience is something I personally struggle with greatly; you guys are learning more and more about me- how I have major pride issues- walls higher than I ever wanted- and a great lack of patience. But in all of this I have God- God working in me constantly- God opening my eyes to so many new things especially in His word- and God breaking down walls in areas I didn’t even know were built up so high. Before even reading or even knowing what our IBS was God had already opened my eyes to working in me patience and Luke 21:19 was one of the verses He opened my eyes too that I have never seen or read and understood before. Thinking about this verse and then asking God to really help me understand it was interesting this time- interesting but good. I was very overwhelmed with people back in NY and just the things happening around me on a daily

Luke 8:11-15 “Now the parable is this: the seed is the word of God. Those by the wayside are the ones who hear; then the devil comes and takes away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be saved. But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the Word with joy; and these have in root, who believe for a while and in time of redemption fall away. Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity. But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience.” I love how imagery and comparison is used so frequently throughout the Bible, it personally helps me understand and really grasp all God is trying to teach me in that verse or chapter. Verse 11 says, “the seed is the word of God” this is so powerful because without seeds in this world we woul

IBS- EPHESIANS 5:15-17 “See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. This verse to me is kind of like a commandment- how seriously we need to take this walk and life with Christ. It isn’t just a “I’m feelin good today so I’m going to look to Jesus but then never do it on my bad days or moments.” Not saying we don’t fall into that sometimes but I just hear from this verse that it isn’t just a one-time event- it’s a life style. We as Christ followers must walk “circumspectly” cautiously, watchfully and not stumble others especially our brothers and sisters. The part in the verse when it says, “redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” Reminds me of trialed filled days and most nights when I am tired and just done. I know how quickly it can be to fall into temptations and just sinful natures and thoughts especially when you are drained- bu

IBS: 2 Corinthians 1:12 “For our boasting is this: the testimony of our conscience that we conducted ourselves in the world in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom but by the grace of God, and more abundantly toward you.” Who are you doing life for? Is the question I often have to ask myself whether its in the middle of a task or project or after I accomplish something. Even just in talking with someone. Who are you trying to glorify? For me most of the time its for myself. But by only the grace of God He is still working hard in my heart and changing my thoughts towards the real goal and purpose of this life I have. I have always grown up with the saying “actions speak louder than words.” Which is something I have always lived by and is drilled into my head. I generally don’t push myself past that limit though- in the sense of really asking who am I living for and these actions that I am doing what is it for? But that was then, and this is now- God has shown m

IBS- James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” God knows all. God doesn’t hide from us- He is always there. We are the ones always running away from Him. The sin, the ups and downs He knows it all- He paid for it all. But yet I walked away- I walked away from the love that loves like no other. My selfish wants came in like a over flowing waterfall. And I sunk in. I went all the way to the bottom and you would think I would have learned something there but no- no my pride and selfish desires dug in that mud at the bottom more and more until God said stop- enough is enough- you know the truth yet you run and dug yourself this nice dark hole and called it home and I am now asking you to just raise you hands even just one, one out of that mud hole and I will take care of the rest. I lack a lot. I lack a lot of faith, wisdom, discipline, and hope. But God. I fall back on working on faith li

IBS- Psalms 111:10 “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; a good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever.” Laying down my pride and denying self is the only way to fear the Lord for me at least. I feel as though the way I have lived my life shows how I have tried to find and seek out wisdom but have fallen short of one thing- the only thing that gives us wisdom-God. So, in reality I found nothing and lost a lot of myself trying. I try not to live in the past but that is also very hard for me- I have a lot of regret and the feel of “lost time”. My selfishness not only gets me into trouble, but it also keeps me away from all that God has instore for me. It blocks my vision from the things He is showing me through the Bible and the doors He has opened to me and I have walked in the complete opposite direction. God is so gracious and displays so much wisdom in His understanding and compassion for us as sinners and all the fears when

IBS- JAMES 3:13-18 “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. but the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” To be wise and to have wisdom is only possible when you give God your weaknesses and brokenness and allow Him to do the only thing He asks of us- to be His hands and feet here on earth until He calls us home. Allowing God to break us and bring us to nothing so that we are free of our sins and know we owe it all to Christ alone whom has set us free – now th

IBS- MARK 10:46-52 “ Now they came to Jericho. As He went out of Jericho with His disciples and a great multitude, blind Bartimaeus, the son of Timaeus, sat by the road begging. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” then many warned him to be quite; but he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” so Jesus stood still and commanded him to be called. Then they called the blind man, saying to him “Be of good cheer. Rise, He is calling you.” And throwing aside his garments, he rose and came to Jesus. So, Jesus answered and said to him “What do you want Me to do for you?” the blind man said to Him, Rabboni, that I may receive my sight.” Then Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus on the road.”   I relate to Bart in the sense of begging for Jesus to come back into my life and forgiving me once again for my sin

IBS- Luke 8:22-25 (22) Now it happened, on a certain day, that He got into a boat with His disciples. And He said to them, “Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.” And they launched out. (23) But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy. And they came to Him and awoke Him saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm. But He said to them “Where is your faith?” and they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, “Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him.” The first thing that came to mind in verse 22 was how much faith Jesus’s disciples had. It did not say “Jesus said let’s go out to sea and five disciples said no Master not today and the others said okay I will follow.” No it said “And they launched” no complaining, no attitude, and no doubt about

IBS- Matthew 8: 9-10 “For I also am a man under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to this one, ‘Go’, and he goes; and to another, ‘Come’, and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this’, and he does it. When Jesus heard it, He marveled, and said to those who followed, “Assuredly, I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel!” I have read this chapter and have heard it said out loud in church for many years but never really looked to it in depth. For the first time I saw it in the shoes of the centurion- which thanks to Talia I know what that is. I started getting overwhelmed just reading these two verses but then started from verse 5-13. This mans pride stood out to me, I feel as though this man is luke warm with God. Where he knows of Him and all of Gods good works but also is wanting to be a “god” in the life of others. What’s hard for this man is he doesn’t want to let go of what he knows and go into something so unknown and trust someone again.

IBS- HEBREWS 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” When I read this, I thought to myself- “well how can I even write about this after being real in sharing what I have been struggling with and what I noticed about myself- not having faith.” But then God just made me stop and think “Well all you can be is real I’m not asking for anything more or less of you” So I read it six more times and then sat there and just prayed about it. I opened my eyes and God like blurred out the first part of that verse and had me just blankly and in such awe stare at “He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Now I wasn’t wearing my glasses, so it could have been that I suppose but either way I suddenly found hope and saw the part of the verse which at first to me didn’t mean or didn’t seem as important as the beginning of the verse. But, for me that’s what I neede

IBS- HEBREWS 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” For me having faith and believing in faith is very different. I did not realize this until the end of our first week here in Ignite school. I have lost my faith in God… I have put God on the same level as people and I have put my trust and faith in people and that of course has lead me to great disappointment. I have gone to church my whole life and know what God is all about, and have had faith in Him and that God will only do things and put us through things that are only for the good of me and will only grow and strengthen me in ways I am not able to on my own- or even want to at the time. As I was looking at this verse and I started to look up the definitions of some of the words. And for the first time really dissect this verse word by word, line by line. So, faith, faith is having complete confidence or trust, so with that I now have the understanding that I need to give